A Letter to my Mother

Dear Mom, 

I love the way you hold me dear in your heart. I know this as true because there was a day in high school when a teacher was very unkind to me and her words hurt you more than they hurt me. This particular incident happened over ten years ago and right at the beginning of this year you reminded me of that incident and I could see you flinch with pain the same way you did the day I related the story to you. You reminded me that my feelings are legitimate and valid. It's moments like that,  I knew your love for me goes deep. When I see your love I know I'm special, and I am your child. 

I hold dear in my heart memories of sitting in your  bed, sharing stories and laughing with you about everything. I think hanging out with you is the reason quality time is one of my primary love languages. Coming home to tell you my stories and knowing that I will have your undivided attention is  another way I've experienced your love. Thank your for your fascination with my stories and the attention you pay to even the unimportant detail. 

I'm inspired by your ability to give freely and share so easily. The way you've loved and embraced my friends has taught me there's always space for one more in your heart. I love my friends because they're my friends, but I truly see Tshepiso and Refilwe as my sisters because of the way you've embraced and loved them. Your heart is open, and I pray I would love like you have and love like you do.

Your ability to laugh at yourself has taught me that it's ok to laugh at myself, and that a sense of humour is a beauty secret.

Thank you for having chosen and continuing to choose Jesus. Thank you for having chosen dad, for loving and supporting him the way you do. I know I am who am I today because of those two great decision. 

I know I have big shoes to fill. It would be easy to settle for mediocrity in my career, in my prayer life, in how I love others, in the way I do the rest of my life but the legacy you've left for us as your children will never allow me to settle for that. Thank you ma. I couldn't have asked for a better mother. Thank you for being all of you and in so doing giving me the confidence to be all of me.

I celebrate you ma, today and always!

A Thought to Share

My mother turned 60 the other day. At her birthday celebration, I remember looking at her and thinking, this woman is strong and beautiful. If I could be half the woman that she is, I'd be amazing, but then I remember that she's my mother and what she's imparted in my life, the sacrifices that she's made and the prayers she's prayed demand that I become more than just half the woman that she is.

There are good seasons in my life where I feel like I'm right on track to becoming all that God has called me to become, bearing fruit and being connected to the vine. Then there are days when I wonder what it is that I'm doing, where is the fruit and where is the motivation to keep going. On those days I've needed the love and encouragement of those I like to think are spiritual giants, but really, they are living by Grace just like the rest of us still picking up light weights in terms of our growth in Christ. But seriously, I'm at that age when you start thinking about finding love and getting married and baby in a golden carriage. Coupled with that thought is now a burning question: When I'm my mothers age, what will my testimony look like? What legacy will I have given to my children?

I'm a whole lifetime away from 60. It's time to get wisdom on the challenges and adventures that face me and await me on my way to to this age. I see the benchmark and I'm looking a little past the standard mom has set...

So I'm embarking on a mission to ask questions of the proverbial elders and follow them as they follow Christ. Every month I plan to ask and grow in knowledge and understanding on certain life topics and I'll be asking some awesome women and sometimes men, questions that I can no longer be afraid to ask. I'm at an interesting time in my life, let's fill it with much fruit!